Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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