i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
