I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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