Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
