let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
