jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
