I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
