That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize