Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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