with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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