we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The air taste purple.
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