I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
