its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
