ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
