I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
