just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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