they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
