even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
what day is it and did you see me today?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
