Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!

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  (417): true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever! http://tfl.nu/5efq
  Replies (14) Good night (1035) Bad night (2834)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  :)

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wipe that smile off your face.

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  (410): :) (443): Wipe that smile off your face. http://tfl.nu/iqow
  Replies (28) Good night (6325) Bad night (923)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

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  (313): The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car http://tfl.nu/lq42
  Replies (40) Good night (5006) Bad night (1353)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.

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  (662): Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing. http://tfl.nu/08ze
  Replies (10) Good night (848) Bad night (3596)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

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  (620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7
  Replies (16) Good night (4178) Bad night (980)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.

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  (780): I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now. http://tfl.nu/ehba
  Replies (10) Good night (1500) Bad night (815)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?

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  (713): do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister? http://tfl.nu/m4fg
  Replies (5) Good night (2219) Bad night (574)
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  (279): View more from

  Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you

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  (279): Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones? (574): You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you http://tfl.nu/23r0
  Replies (14) Good night (4664) Bad night (1278)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.

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  (306): You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons. http://tfl.nu/ly4h
  Replies (4) Good night (1444) Bad night (858)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.

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  (205): I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work. http://tfl.nu/jnr2
  Replies (8) Good night (1261) Bad night (487)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.

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  (740): I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up. http://tfl.nu/a16r
  Replies (4) Good night (1450) Bad night (624)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed

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  (312): There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed http://tfl.nu/ohal
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (805)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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  (432): They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED! http://tfl.nu/73e9
  Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (392)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"

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  (603): I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter" http://tfl.nu/wf41
  Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (304)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.

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  (541): We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/cd3a
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (262)

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