Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.

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  (815): if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it. http://tfl.nu/9gem
  Replies (48) Good night (1918) Bad night (6053)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp

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  (513): you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp http://tfl.nu/1q8y
  Replies (23) Good night (4876) Bad night (844)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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  (413): then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man. http://tfl.nu/6mq0
  Replies (39) Good night (1194) Bad night (11439)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.

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  (516): He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes. http://tfl.nu/agxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1359) Bad night (4586)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!

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  (931): On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse! http://tfl.nu/2usg
  Replies (2) Good night (2135) Bad night (956)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

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  (917): You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door. http://tfl.nu/b3vl
  Replies (8) Good night (2420) Bad night (1234)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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  (505): He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand. http://tfl.nu/5zt4
  Replies (2) Good night (1051) Bad night (2031)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.

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  (575): Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits. http://tfl.nu/8qqe
  Replies (7) Good night (2047) Bad night (758)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already

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  (651): Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already http://tfl.nu/xrp9
  Replies (13) Good night (1272) Bad night (607)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.

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  (603): and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks. http://tfl.nu/aapi
  Replies (10) Good night (1125) Bad night (544)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday

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  (214): This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday http://tfl.nu/yy5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1268) Bad night (479)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.

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  (662): IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol. http://tfl.nu/ywt6
  Replies (1) Good night (1114) Bad night (665)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick

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  (+44): Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick http://tfl.nu/8ik3
  Replies (6) Good night (868) Bad night (480)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.

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  (617): He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans. http://tfl.nu/bqwm
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (395)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.

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  (843): Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity. http://tfl.nu/9xn2
  Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (230)

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