Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(733): View more from

i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now

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(925): View more from California

never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way

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(410): View more from Maryland

Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

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(281): View more from Texas

Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.

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(509): View more from Washington

I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?

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