I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty