Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

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  (310): you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday. http://tfl.nu/y9g2
  Replies (6) Good night (3513) Bad night (605)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes

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  (610): I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes http://tfl.nu/8prz
  Replies (27) Good night (4415) Bad night (818)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes

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  (610): I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes http://tfl.nu/4awr
  Replies (7) Good night (3653) Bad night (850)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.

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  (205): Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/h65h
  Replies (4) Good night (3550) Bad night (1189)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

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  (713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw
  Replies (4) Good night (2624) Bad night (1045)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp

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  (410): just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp http://tfl.nu/2fc3
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (1635)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all

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  (412): I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all http://tfl.nu/skme
  Replies (6) Good night (833) Bad night (1661)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.

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  (678): Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out. http://tfl.nu/slt6
  Replies (8) Good night (493) Bad night (1442)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.

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  (519): Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight. http://tfl.nu/qnvl
  Replies (6) Good night (1618) Bad night (724)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"

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  (204): So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you" http://tfl.nu/y1sq
  Replies (6) Good night (789) Bad night (2788)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit

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  (706): I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit http://tfl.nu/wzhs
  Replies (4) Good night (1884) Bad night (489)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Twice...

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  (404): Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it? (717): Twice... http://tfl.nu/e2vh
  Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (451)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Why is there broken glass in my purse?

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting

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  (403): Why is there broken glass in my purse? (1-403): You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting http://tfl.nu/xg38
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (1128)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"

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  (+61): Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart" http://tfl.nu/icuk
  Replies (3) Good night (1715) Bad night (444)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.

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  (781): Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/7fu0
  Replies (4) Good night (414) Bad night (612)

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