i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
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dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
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I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?