The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
