Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize