if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
