When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
