i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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