It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
