I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
