it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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