so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
