hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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