I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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