i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize