I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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