SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
