She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Mom said you looked used
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
