I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
