Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
