she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize