Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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