would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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