Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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