I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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