Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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