The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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