Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize