i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize