me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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