mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
