hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
