Your mouth is God's brothel.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
