Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
