So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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