That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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