Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
