i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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