It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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