Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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