I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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