Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
