I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
