The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Randomize
