talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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