No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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