I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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